Breakdown

I feel the approach of
an earth shattering event.
The weight of a thousand men
bears down on my heat
stricken body. My mind
is compressed with
seemingly endless
knowledge. Personality
is absent as I am forced
to conform to military
uniformity. I cry inside
as I look beyond the gates
at freedom. I am caged for
four years. While my
punishment was voluntarily
asked for, I cannot conform.
I am lost in who I've
become. I'm alone in
my unidorm. I want
to go home and hide in
my room and never come
out again. I want to hide
from my fears, and swallow
my tears. I want to starve
and wither, and stop
worrying about how
I'm going to survive tomorrow.
I don't want anything
expected of me. I want
to be anonymous.
Solitary. At one with
silence in nature.
Living among the
wolves and
worshipping the moon.
Cover me in snow
so they cannot see me.
Erase my name from
the trees. Do not
associate me with
numbers. Do not shout
for your words bruise
the ears which hear
harshness. Praise me
not for what I've done,
but for who I am. Do
not love me. Just walk
past me and leave me
the hell alone...