Sitting alone,
by the edge of the sea.
No one around
but the Lord and me.
Sitting alone,
I shed but a tear.
Then comes a voice
and I stand in fear.
Standing accompanied,
no longer afraid.
"Come closer," it says.
"Come closer, be brave."
Facing the ocean,
I take a step forward.
The voice comes again
and I walk toward.
Not looking behind me
I continue to pace.
The farther I go,
the clearer his face.
The lighthouse ahead,
I aim for that shore.
For the beach behind me,
I can see no more.
Same Dream, Different View
Wash me to the shoreline,
in from out to sea.
Gather up a pile of sand.
Build your house with me.
Decorate with sea shells,
flowers and pearls of white.
Stand aside, let the sun bake.
Luminate with light.
Enter inside your castle
the moment the sun sets low.
Look out from the tower window,
and see all the houses in row.
in from out to sea.
Gather up a pile of sand.
Build your house with me.
Decorate with sea shells,
flowers and pearls of white.
Stand aside, let the sun bake.
Luminate with light.
Enter inside your castle
the moment the sun sets low.
Look out from the tower window,
and see all the houses in row.
Reunion
Fear not, dear sir,
for your angels are
in the palms of God.
Granted, their words
are salt poured
into an open wound.
But sorrow only lasts
for just a short while.
You'll be reunited.
And when you see them
standing there, you
shall rejoice with Him.
for your angels are
in the palms of God.
Granted, their words
are salt poured
into an open wound.
But sorrow only lasts
for just a short while.
You'll be reunited.
And when you see them
standing there, you
shall rejoice with Him.
Remembrance
Day by day
I walk through my house
and remember the night
that he died.
The wheeze in his breath
the fear in his eyes.
To tell him I loved him
I tried.
But the lump in my throat
and the look on his face
made it impossible
to say goodbye.
Now all I have left
is the guilt in my gut,
the dog, the cat,
and everything but.
The one thing I want
most in my life
is my father back,
along with his wife.
I walk through my house
and remember the night
that he died.
The wheeze in his breath
the fear in his eyes.
To tell him I loved him
I tried.
But the lump in my throat
and the look on his face
made it impossible
to say goodbye.
Now all I have left
is the guilt in my gut,
the dog, the cat,
and everything but.
The one thing I want
most in my life
is my father back,
along with his wife.
Realization
After 1 of 3 talks
with my friend, LSD,
I've come to realize
that the blame is on me.
The guilt on my shoulders
is far too heavy
for the strongest of men
to lift off of me.
It used to be God
I put the blame on.
Then after Him
it was my mom.
Soon after, I realized,
that it was my fault.
I was the one who
called my own shots.
I had enough time
to tell him goodbye.
To say that I loved him,
to hold him and cry.
But I was too weak
for that type of pain.
Now the guilt and my sorrow
fall like tears, and the rain.
with my friend, LSD,
I've come to realize
that the blame is on me.
The guilt on my shoulders
is far too heavy
for the strongest of men
to lift off of me.
It used to be God
I put the blame on.
Then after Him
it was my mom.
Soon after, I realized,
that it was my fault.
I was the one who
called my own shots.
I had enough time
to tell him goodbye.
To say that I loved him,
to hold him and cry.
But I was too weak
for that type of pain.
Now the guilt and my sorrow
fall like tears, and the rain.
Rays of Hope
Red reminds me of the sunrise,
making me believe there will
always be a tomorrow.
Yellow reminds me of flowers,
giving me hope that with spring
each life will renew.
Orange reminds me of fruit,
and without nutrition
we have no energy to go on.
Green reminds me of grass.
It grows in all countries,
equalizing everything.
Blue reminds me of rain.
Showers that cleanse the earth
and refresh the inner soul.
Purple is known for passion.
I hope as long as this color exists
I will find it someday.
making me believe there will
always be a tomorrow.
Yellow reminds me of flowers,
giving me hope that with spring
each life will renew.
Orange reminds me of fruit,
and without nutrition
we have no energy to go on.
Green reminds me of grass.
It grows in all countries,
equalizing everything.
Blue reminds me of rain.
Showers that cleanse the earth
and refresh the inner soul.
Purple is known for passion.
I hope as long as this color exists
I will find it someday.
Puzzles
Does a blind man
who sees no color
judge a black man?
Gee, I wonder.
Why does a person
who cannot fight,
talk his talk
then take a hike?
And when it rains
while the sun is still out,
should I remain happy
or do I begin to pout?
How about if
the clock strikes 12
and it's dark outside?
Do I get to eat lunch?
And get this...
a deaf woman punishes her child
for saying a bad word!
who sees no color
judge a black man?
Gee, I wonder.
Why does a person
who cannot fight,
talk his talk
then take a hike?
And when it rains
while the sun is still out,
should I remain happy
or do I begin to pout?
How about if
the clock strikes 12
and it's dark outside?
Do I get to eat lunch?
And get this...
a deaf woman punishes her child
for saying a bad word!
Presence with Light
A big, giant blue,
a smaller giant purple.
A round ring of red.
A fiery ball of orange.
Floating on a mirror,
the color of rainbows,
sailing with the wind
towards the edge.
Tree covered hills,
dappled with birds.
A warm summer's breeze
and silence, no words.
And deep, down inside
a great peace in mind.
God is present with me,
walking, here on this sea.
Potty Boy
Early in the morning,
coffee is his drink-y.
He drink it all, to
last drop. It make
his breath real stinky.
He listen to her lecture,
he fall asleep so fast.
He wake up to his
bladder screaming
let me go AT LAST!
So now we call him
Potty Boy. Apprentice to
porcelain gods. He
serves them well upon
the throne, as often as he does.
**Dedicated to A1C Paskett, for his service as Potty Boy in ORM... Keesler AFB, MS
coffee is his drink-y.
He drink it all, to
last drop. It make
his breath real stinky.
He listen to her lecture,
he fall asleep so fast.
He wake up to his
bladder screaming
let me go AT LAST!
So now we call him
Potty Boy. Apprentice to
porcelain gods. He
serves them well upon
the throne, as often as he does.
**Dedicated to A1C Paskett, for his service as Potty Boy in ORM... Keesler AFB, MS
Pondering
Dear World,
I am thinking today.
God bless America,
now people can't say
that I've never had a thought
or tried to find a way
to make tomorrow
an even better day.
I thought about
smiling once or twice.
And if I came upon a stranger,
perhaps try to be nice.
For every day's a lucky draw,
or a hand of rolling dice.
I can't live the rest of life
as quiet as the mice.
I am thinking today.
God bless America,
now people can't say
that I've never had a thought
or tried to find a way
to make tomorrow
an even better day.
I thought about
smiling once or twice.
And if I came upon a stranger,
perhaps try to be nice.
For every day's a lucky draw,
or a hand of rolling dice.
I can't live the rest of life
as quiet as the mice.
Pondering a Raindrop
How is it that
something so small,
protruding from
something so
powerful and
dangerous can
catch a ray of light
and become so
beautiful?
something so small,
protruding from
something so
powerful and
dangerous can
catch a ray of light
and become so
beautiful?
Photo Boy
Photoshop...
He snaps a shot
of every lesson
that is taught.
Slide show boy,
the human toy.
Wind him up and
watch with joy.
He spits out words
from his mental crack.
Soaking spectators who
take 3 steps back.
Green light
yellow light
red light
STOP!
Too many
photos in
his camera.
He'll POP!
He snaps a shot
of every lesson
that is taught.
Slide show boy,
the human toy.
Wind him up and
watch with joy.
He spits out words
from his mental crack.
Soaking spectators who
take 3 steps back.
Green light
yellow light
red light
STOP!
Too many
photos in
his camera.
He'll POP!
Personal Duty
I sit on
my bed near
the window and
see liberty below.
I frown on
the outside but
on the inside
I do know,
that in due
time I too
will join the
liberty. However I
shall look up
when I am
down there and
I will smile
and give hope
to those who
show their frowns.
my bed near
the window and
see liberty below.
I frown on
the outside but
on the inside
I do know,
that in due
time I too
will join the
liberty. However I
shall look up
when I am
down there and
I will smile
and give hope
to those who
show their frowns.
Pashunts
Impashunts is
a hunger for
what's not
already there.
Pashunts are
the ones breathing
doctor's office
air.
Impashunts is
a yearning for
the things we
really need.
Pashunts are
the ones falling
victim to
disease.
Impashunts is
the need for
the cure that
mends the ill.
Pashunts are the
ones grieving
for impashunt's
will.
a hunger for
what's not
already there.
Pashunts are
the ones breathing
doctor's office
air.
Impashunts is
a yearning for
the things we
really need.
Pashunts are
the ones falling
victim to
disease.
Impashunts is
the need for
the cure that
mends the ill.
Pashunts are the
ones grieving
for impashunt's
will.
On the Inside
Pain
Suffering
Crying
Tears.
Nighttime
Bedtime
Darkness
Fears.
Sunrise
Light
Sky is
Blue.
Lie there
Staring
Missing
You.
Suffering
Crying
Tears.
Nighttime
Bedtime
Darkness
Fears.
Sunrise
Light
Sky is
Blue.
Lie there
Staring
Missing
You.
Obstacles Overcome
Curled up on a blanket
in the corner, by a wall.
Daddy's boots come crashing
down the middle of the hall.
Shuddering and hiding
from abuse that's yet to come.
Bruises gained in battle,
worn by many, earned by none.
But today, it was different
than all the times before.
Yesterday, Daddy promised
he wouldn't hit us anymore.
So today he scooped us up
and hugged us for the first time.
And inside Jessie's tears
the sun began to shine.
He told us that he loved us
and was glad that we were his.
And then he scooped up Jessie
and he kissed her tiny lips.
in the corner, by a wall.
Daddy's boots come crashing
down the middle of the hall.
Shuddering and hiding
from abuse that's yet to come.
Bruises gained in battle,
worn by many, earned by none.
But today, it was different
than all the times before.
Yesterday, Daddy promised
he wouldn't hit us anymore.
So today he scooped us up
and hugged us for the first time.
And inside Jessie's tears
the sun began to shine.
He told us that he loved us
and was glad that we were his.
And then he scooped up Jessie
and he kissed her tiny lips.
My Prayer
Stand by me in the garden of evil.
Cover me from the shadow of death.
Let me gaze into this land
and find the meaning of it.
Why is harm and violence
spread upon those who do good?
Why do the innocent children
have to see their father's blood?
Why are the naked hungry?
Why do the rich have no heart?
Why do twins, born together,
grown to be apart?
Why is life unfair to those,
the explorers of the soul?
Yearning to find the definition
in order to make them whole?
Why beat them down
once they've reached the top?
And why give boosts to
those refusing to climb?
Please help me find
the answers to these,
in order to ease
my mind.
Cover me from the shadow of death.
Let me gaze into this land
and find the meaning of it.
Why is harm and violence
spread upon those who do good?
Why do the innocent children
have to see their father's blood?
Why are the naked hungry?
Why do the rich have no heart?
Why do twins, born together,
grown to be apart?
Why is life unfair to those,
the explorers of the soul?
Yearning to find the definition
in order to make them whole?
Why beat them down
once they've reached the top?
And why give boosts to
those refusing to climb?
Please help me find
the answers to these,
in order to ease
my mind.
My Last Wish
Carry me on your outstretched wings
and show me the meanings of life.
Give me reason to fulfill my dreams,
and open my eyes because I'm blind.
A skyscraping building which has no walls
would suck me into its trap.
Without you there to break my fall
I'd walk forward and not look back.
Lay down beside me, let our souls blend,
wrap me in strong, trusting arm.s
Together we are, right at day's end.
Tonight we shall share all the stars.
and show me the meanings of life.
Give me reason to fulfill my dreams,
and open my eyes because I'm blind.
A skyscraping building which has no walls
would suck me into its trap.
Without you there to break my fall
I'd walk forward and not look back.
Lay down beside me, let our souls blend,
wrap me in strong, trusting arm.s
Together we are, right at day's end.
Tonight we shall share all the stars.
My Infinite Wish
It's a ball of gas, a sphere of life
thrown into this starless night.
Heartless people clawing for warmth
wrapped in the darkness of a Godless port.
No one survives solitude.
There's always one other who bares his nude.
One other who sees the divine all.
At least one other who catches before you fall.
There's fear here, deep inside of me.
Fear of giving you my everything.
Having you take me for another girl,
meaning shit to you in this cruel world.
But what do I do if I reach out to you
and you take two steps back and walk away?
Where will I stand in the cold without sun?
When I thought that you were the one...
You have the power to blow out the sun
to take away daylight, to make me numb.
You have the strength to close all the doors,
to lock me inside, and hide me from the world.
But I ask that you lift me, so I can see more.
I ask that you hold me, like water hugs shores.
Let me belong to you. Here, I am not alone.
Drowning myself in you. I am not alone.
thrown into this starless night.
Heartless people clawing for warmth
wrapped in the darkness of a Godless port.
No one survives solitude.
There's always one other who bares his nude.
One other who sees the divine all.
At least one other who catches before you fall.
There's fear here, deep inside of me.
Fear of giving you my everything.
Having you take me for another girl,
meaning shit to you in this cruel world.
But what do I do if I reach out to you
and you take two steps back and walk away?
Where will I stand in the cold without sun?
When I thought that you were the one...
You have the power to blow out the sun
to take away daylight, to make me numb.
You have the strength to close all the doors,
to lock me inside, and hide me from the world.
But I ask that you lift me, so I can see more.
I ask that you hold me, like water hugs shores.
Let me belong to you. Here, I am not alone.
Drowning myself in you. I am not alone.
Morbid God
Blackmail;
I shouldn't tell.
Either love Him
or go to Hell.
No matter what
cruel things
He allows to
happen to you.
Some are victims
of abuse. Innocent
children God puts
to no use.
Others grieve
for the past
because the future
only gets worse.
God says not
to use His
name in vain...
Well, GOD DAMNED IT!
What the hell
else am I
supposed to say
when he's at fault?
Why should I
worship Him
and sing songs
of praise to Him?
I've never asked
Him for much,
and He's never
given me anything.
In fact, all the
things in life
that I've had,
He's taken away!
It's blackmail...
I really shouldn't tell.
You either love Him,
or you go to hell.
I shouldn't tell.
Either love Him
or go to Hell.
No matter what
cruel things
He allows to
happen to you.
Some are victims
of abuse. Innocent
children God puts
to no use.
Others grieve
for the past
because the future
only gets worse.
God says not
to use His
name in vain...
Well, GOD DAMNED IT!
What the hell
else am I
supposed to say
when he's at fault?
Why should I
worship Him
and sing songs
of praise to Him?
I've never asked
Him for much,
and He's never
given me anything.
In fact, all the
things in life
that I've had,
He's taken away!
It's blackmail...
I really shouldn't tell.
You either love Him,
or you go to hell.
Mistaken Identity
Today, I talked to a liar.
A fool, whose heart is cold.
Today I spoke with a buyer
and seller of hearts of gold.
Today, I had faith in a conman.
Today, he showed me his game.
I fell for him fast, just like the rest.
Today, he lived up to his fame.
So tonight, I sit grieving,
tears staining pained cheeks.
Tonight I build my guard
against the men of next week.
And tonight, I am lonely,
more so now than before.
My heart has been stolen...
tonight, I'm a whore.
A fool, whose heart is cold.
Today I spoke with a buyer
and seller of hearts of gold.
Today, I had faith in a conman.
Today, he showed me his game.
I fell for him fast, just like the rest.
Today, he lived up to his fame.
So tonight, I sit grieving,
tears staining pained cheeks.
Tonight I build my guard
against the men of next week.
And tonight, I am lonely,
more so now than before.
My heart has been stolen...
tonight, I'm a whore.
Mind Over Matter
Seven above,
Seven below,
Seven in between.
Speaking of realms,
levels of energy,
or heaven... so it seems.
The power's within,
the mind is all.
meditate, and you shall hold
all the powers
known to God,
all young, and all the old.
Seven below,
Seven in between.
Speaking of realms,
levels of energy,
or heaven... so it seems.
The power's within,
the mind is all.
meditate, and you shall hold
all the powers
known to God,
all young, and all the old.
Mind Games
My soul is an indefinite, infinite being.
With every exhale it escapes.
With every inhale, it returns.
It fills and expands to the point
where my toes reach my shoes,
and leaves each time my eyes open.
My heartbeat is the hand knocking,
searching for my mind which
has wandered with my soul.
Over hills of faith they walk,
through the river of disbelief
and into the land of the unknown.
Then my soul returns, just me
had left my mind to hover there
to figure things, alone.
Mi Padre
For a little over
a fourth of a year,
mi padre, to me,
has been so dear.
His constant humor
and glittering laughter
will remain with me
until the hereafter.
I'll never forget
his shining face
when I came to his house
from my mother's place.
Or all the fuss
I used to give him
about buying me
a sweet pickle bus.
Whatever the case
be it snow or rain.
My driving abilities
will be in his brain.
Father Card or
Mi Padre
Or just plain old
Dad...
I'm glad that
we had the
type of friendship
we had.
a fourth of a year,
mi padre, to me,
has been so dear.
His constant humor
and glittering laughter
will remain with me
until the hereafter.
I'll never forget
his shining face
when I came to his house
from my mother's place.
Or all the fuss
I used to give him
about buying me
a sweet pickle bus.
Whatever the case
be it snow or rain.
My driving abilities
will be in his brain.
Father Card or
Mi Padre
Or just plain old
Dad...
I'm glad that
we had the
type of friendship
we had.
Life Without Daddy
There is a void in my life
that my father used to fill.
A love like no other
taken against his will.
It was a nine month battle,
with the prize to be his life.
He was alone in his struggle
with desired help from his wife.
Blinded by anxiety and
unable to tell the future,
the wounds he gained in battle
were those unable to suture.
The doctors did they best they could
but the opposing stood its ground.
My father was thin, and far too weak
to stay for another round.
So in preparation for his final days,
the couch bed was made out.
Tears streamed down inside of me
like water from a spout.
Three hours before the pass of his soul
my father sat up and stared.
His eyes met mine, and the tears I
withheld could almost not be bared.
I quickly turned and ran to my room
and quietly shut the door.
The pass of his soul came and went,
and now I can see him no more.
My father is gone, my only friend.
I wish I could have said
I love you, just one time before...
but now my father is dead.
To hug him, just once, I'd give anything.
If even in a dream.
But all my wishes have been ignored.
At least that's how it seems.
that my father used to fill.
A love like no other
taken against his will.
It was a nine month battle,
with the prize to be his life.
He was alone in his struggle
with desired help from his wife.
Blinded by anxiety and
unable to tell the future,
the wounds he gained in battle
were those unable to suture.
The doctors did they best they could
but the opposing stood its ground.
My father was thin, and far too weak
to stay for another round.
So in preparation for his final days,
the couch bed was made out.
Tears streamed down inside of me
like water from a spout.
Three hours before the pass of his soul
my father sat up and stared.
His eyes met mine, and the tears I
withheld could almost not be bared.
I quickly turned and ran to my room
and quietly shut the door.
The pass of his soul came and went,
and now I can see him no more.
My father is gone, my only friend.
I wish I could have said
I love you, just one time before...
but now my father is dead.
To hug him, just once, I'd give anything.
If even in a dream.
But all my wishes have been ignored.
At least that's how it seems.
Life These Days
Time is all
I have left on my hands.
Where I go in my
car just depends,
on the gas that I have
and the cash that I need
to get some more gas
not to buy my friends weed!
I've got to escape
this boredom, indeed.
Alone in my car,
I take a long drive.
I return home
7 hours past five.
The lights are all out,
my friends are in bed.
I've finally remembered
I still haven't been fed.
I have left on my hands.
Where I go in my
car just depends,
on the gas that I have
and the cash that I need
to get some more gas
not to buy my friends weed!
I've got to escape
this boredom, indeed.
Alone in my car,
I take a long drive.
I return home
7 hours past five.
The lights are all out,
my friends are in bed.
I've finally remembered
I still haven't been fed.
Life is Like
Wake up in the morning
walk around the room
crush the alarm clock
that was 12 hours late.
Stumble over dirty clothes
kiss the floor and
smell the roses...
Potpourri.
Life is like sittin'
in history class.
Or ridin' on the back
of a slow car's ass.
Kiss it and be on my way.
Not lookin'
forward to
another day.
Get dressed anyway
go to school
12 hours late.
No one's there.
Go to Sonic.
Get a coke.
Chew on a fry
and start to choke.
I live my life
a little slow
and if someone cared
it might snow!
walk around the room
crush the alarm clock
that was 12 hours late.
Stumble over dirty clothes
kiss the floor and
smell the roses...
Potpourri.
Life is like sittin'
in history class.
Or ridin' on the back
of a slow car's ass.
Kiss it and be on my way.
Not lookin'
forward to
another day.
Get dressed anyway
go to school
12 hours late.
No one's there.
Go to Sonic.
Get a coke.
Chew on a fry
and start to choke.
I live my life
a little slow
and if someone cared
it might snow!
Kelly's Warning
Smoke
from scented candles
fills
my tiny room.
Comfort
from a stranger's voice
soothes
a soul that's doomed.
Yearning
to know a love,
needing
to be wanted.
Knowing
none will accept,
conceited,
normality is flaunted.
Hear
me cry for you.
Lecture,
and obsession's rage.
Understand
internal conflicts.
Hide.
My mind is caged.
from scented candles
fills
my tiny room.
Comfort
from a stranger's voice
soothes
a soul that's doomed.
Yearning
to know a love,
needing
to be wanted.
Knowing
none will accept,
conceited,
normality is flaunted.
Hear
me cry for you.
Lecture,
and obsession's rage.
Understand
internal conflicts.
Hide.
My mind is caged.
Just a Thought
Like a browning leaf,
drowning in a puddle...
I am a dying soul,
aging, like the tree yonder.
Miraculous it is
how death begins the
moment we are born.
It is miraculous.
Sitting atop a rock,
pondering of the leaf,
thinking of the
actual beauty of death.
How all it really is
is an end to a
beginning of another
beginning to end.
drowning in a puddle...
I am a dying soul,
aging, like the tree yonder.
Miraculous it is
how death begins the
moment we are born.
It is miraculous.
Sitting atop a rock,
pondering of the leaf,
thinking of the
actual beauty of death.
How all it really is
is an end to a
beginning of another
beginning to end.
Judging by the Cover
Our physical appearances
may alter our ways.
They tell our future
from day to day.
For those of us ugly
who are looking for love,
it's twice as hard
with no help from above.
For those of us beautiful
who have all that we need...
we still want more
and take pride in such greed.
For those of us average,
it can go both ways.
That is, of course, unless
we're lesbian or gay.
Same goes for the color
of our unborn skin.
If we're black or white,
we still won't win.
may alter our ways.
They tell our future
from day to day.
For those of us ugly
who are looking for love,
it's twice as hard
with no help from above.
For those of us beautiful
who have all that we need...
we still want more
and take pride in such greed.
For those of us average,
it can go both ways.
That is, of course, unless
we're lesbian or gay.
Same goes for the color
of our unborn skin.
If we're black or white,
we still won't win.
Invitation for Embarrassment
Walls.
White walls.
Numerous corners.
Carpet.
Gray carpet.
Yards of it.
No chairs.
No beds.
Bare.
Naked.
Unclothed, cold.
Hungry.
Laughter.
Whispering voices.
Red face.
Behind mirrors.
Locked doors.
I am the
center of
insult.
Come and
laugh at
me.
White walls.
Numerous corners.
Carpet.
Gray carpet.
Yards of it.
No chairs.
No beds.
Bare.
Naked.
Unclothed, cold.
Hungry.
Laughter.
Whispering voices.
Red face.
Behind mirrors.
Locked doors.
I am the
center of
insult.
Come and
laugh at
me.
Into Forever
It's a scary thought
of how in just a
few days, we will
wander into our future.
How being a child
will no longer exist,
and learning to care
for one begins.
What we are doing
at this instant,
will soon become a
memory to look back on.
And at night I will
lie awake and wish
that I could live
in the yesterdays.
of how in just a
few days, we will
wander into our future.
How being a child
will no longer exist,
and learning to care
for one begins.
What we are doing
at this instant,
will soon become a
memory to look back on.
And at night I will
lie awake and wish
that I could live
in the yesterdays.
Inspiration
To wish for a soulmate...
The mere word is enough
to inspire chills from
the depths of the spirit.
To think that only one
whose match is yours,
lurks upon the world
as a facet of existence.
Only one among populations
which can only be
compared to particles of dust
resting high above the bookshelves.
The search is exhausting
and day after day, heartbreaking.
Rivers of tears flood the earth
when victory is not found.
Seek, and ye shall find
that which is held at a distance.
And remember, the soulmate
yearns for your presence as well.
The mere word is enough
to inspire chills from
the depths of the spirit.
To think that only one
whose match is yours,
lurks upon the world
as a facet of existence.
Only one among populations
which can only be
compared to particles of dust
resting high above the bookshelves.
The search is exhausting
and day after day, heartbreaking.
Rivers of tears flood the earth
when victory is not found.
Seek, and ye shall find
that which is held at a distance.
And remember, the soulmate
yearns for your presence as well.
In the Back of My Mind
On the twig of a tree,
at the top of it's tallness,
by the vein of a leaf,
lies one simple thought.
With the gust of wind,
and the sway of the branch,
the leaf is sent flying,
the thought's ripped to shreds.
A piece in the grass,
a piece on a car.
A piece in the road,
one shoots for the stars.
And one remains dangling,
hanging from the twig's stem.
Just one concrete thought
of how much I miss him.
at the top of it's tallness,
by the vein of a leaf,
lies one simple thought.
With the gust of wind,
and the sway of the branch,
the leaf is sent flying,
the thought's ripped to shreds.
A piece in the grass,
a piece on a car.
A piece in the road,
one shoots for the stars.
And one remains dangling,
hanging from the twig's stem.
Just one concrete thought
of how much I miss him.
In Regards To....
She lies in a bed
showered by sunlight.
Refusing to fall asleep,
for fear of eternal night.
Her tears have dried up,
her energy is gone.
The question is
how many hours she'll go on.
He sits by her side
and takes up her hand,
and with silent voice
says to leave this land.
For tomorrow she'll awaken,
on two feet she will rise.
Because then and forever
she'll belong to the skies.
showered by sunlight.
Refusing to fall asleep,
for fear of eternal night.
Her tears have dried up,
her energy is gone.
The question is
how many hours she'll go on.
He sits by her side
and takes up her hand,
and with silent voice
says to leave this land.
For tomorrow she'll awaken,
on two feet she will rise.
Because then and forever
she'll belong to the skies.
Impression on History
As the sunset fades
into the night,
and the streetlights
start to shine.
I recall a world
not so long ago
that I became accustomed
to, and could call mine.
Now here I sit, upon a bus,
heading for the past.
I'm about to merge two worlds together.
What type of shadow will I cast?
into the night,
and the streetlights
start to shine.
I recall a world
not so long ago
that I became accustomed
to, and could call mine.
Now here I sit, upon a bus,
heading for the past.
I'm about to merge two worlds together.
What type of shadow will I cast?
Implied Terminology
w
a
l
K
I
N
G
Over dry brick,
wet brick.
C nk n
Ri li g
Through the leaves
and dead sticks.
TRUDGING
through the water
and grass....
S
L
I
P
and fall down
on my...
a
l
K
I
N
G
Over dry brick,
wet brick.
C nk n
Ri li g
Through the leaves
and dead sticks.
TRUDGING
through the water
and grass....
S
L
I
P
and fall down
on my...
If This, Then That
If I had never seen
that look in your eyes,
nothing would matter.
If your hands had
never touched my body,
nothing would matter.
If I had never listened
to your heartbeat that night,
nothing would matter.
If I were deaf and
never heard your words,
nothing would matter.
Then my heart would
not ache and my
soul would not cry.
Then my tears wouldn't
fall like the stars
from the sky.
Then I could go on to
live and believe in
love all over again.
that look in your eyes,
nothing would matter.
If your hands had
never touched my body,
nothing would matter.
If I had never listened
to your heartbeat that night,
nothing would matter.
If I were deaf and
never heard your words,
nothing would matter.
Then my heart would
not ache and my
soul would not cry.
Then my tears wouldn't
fall like the stars
from the sky.
Then I could go on to
live and believe in
love all over again.
I Owe it to the Birds
I sit among the bushes
and I listed to the birds.
Chirping their opinions
in a mass of foreign words.
Soldiers marching one by one,
underneath their nest.
Birds are picking out a target...
"Which of these looks best?"
Pigeons perched upon a ledge,
cooing out a song.
Soldiers standing in formation
listening all day long.
God has issued angels wings,
and voices from Heaven.
These chirps have helped me through
the weeks, and the days... all seven.
and I listed to the birds.
Chirping their opinions
in a mass of foreign words.
Soldiers marching one by one,
underneath their nest.
Birds are picking out a target...
"Which of these looks best?"
Pigeons perched upon a ledge,
cooing out a song.
Soldiers standing in formation
listening all day long.
God has issued angels wings,
and voices from Heaven.
These chirps have helped me through
the weeks, and the days... all seven.
Hidden Pain
I stand behind the waterfall
which is frozen halfway down.
I glance out across the lake
and find a figure in the crowd.
Skaters skating all around.
But this one, he stands still.
Staring straight, into my eyes,
emotionless, not even a smile.
He points right at me
and calls me t him.
I walk very briskly,
my face looking grim.
When I approach him
he starts to frown.
He pushes me roughly
and I slide to the ground.
The skaters kept skating
and no one could see,
no one had witnessed
the pain he'd caused me.
So here I sit today,
at the edge of the crowd.
Watching all the skaters
skate round and round.
which is frozen halfway down.
I glance out across the lake
and find a figure in the crowd.
Skaters skating all around.
But this one, he stands still.
Staring straight, into my eyes,
emotionless, not even a smile.
He points right at me
and calls me t him.
I walk very briskly,
my face looking grim.
When I approach him
he starts to frown.
He pushes me roughly
and I slide to the ground.
The skaters kept skating
and no one could see,
no one had witnessed
the pain he'd caused me.
So here I sit today,
at the edge of the crowd.
Watching all the skaters
skate round and round.
Hidden Hope
Crawling up the darkened road
in the middle of the night.
My eyes may as well be closed
for nothing glows, no light.
No angels here to guide my soul,
I have absorbed all loneliness.
Just a couple branches here and there
to serve as my crutch until the next.
Absent is the will to climb
my survival here, not guaranteed.
Still no desire to see tomorrow...
still no angels, so why proceed?
in the middle of the night.
My eyes may as well be closed
for nothing glows, no light.
No angels here to guide my soul,
I have absorbed all loneliness.
Just a couple branches here and there
to serve as my crutch until the next.
Absent is the will to climb
my survival here, not guaranteed.
Still no desire to see tomorrow...
still no angels, so why proceed?
Heartache's Conclusion
His words ooze
like blood from
a vicious wound.
His eyes are fire,
his violent outbursts
fill the room.
Tears of hatred,
sweat of pain,
veins of boiling
anger emerge.
His stay isn't
quite clear.
His voice is deep,
spit seething
between his teeth.
Calm down sir,
I'm starting to fear you.
Everyone's quiet,
still. Afraid
to move.
I approach
him, so cautious.
I take his hand
and sit him down.
Sir, what's the matter?
What causes such rage?
I'm afraid, he said,
I'm afraid of the pain.
Pain? Explain please.
I asked him again.
The pain of my heart
if I love her again.
I've taken her back,
Twice now it's been.
She leaves me for others.
It's always him.
I'm speechless, in shock.
No guy loves as does he.
And how could he love
a woman like she.
A pang of jealousy
stabs my left side,
and I instantly tell him
let's go for a ride.
I talk, and he listens.
He talks and I listen.
I've hurt, and he's loved.
He's hurt, and I'll love.
Kind sir, your name?
Kelly Bradley,
if you will...
My name is Jennifer,
to meet you
I am pleased.
For your time,
and your heartache.
for your voice,
and your tears.
For the lesson
that you've taught me
I'll take with me
through the years.
like blood from
a vicious wound.
His eyes are fire,
his violent outbursts
fill the room.
Tears of hatred,
sweat of pain,
veins of boiling
anger emerge.
His stay isn't
quite clear.
His voice is deep,
spit seething
between his teeth.
Calm down sir,
I'm starting to fear you.
Everyone's quiet,
still. Afraid
to move.
I approach
him, so cautious.
I take his hand
and sit him down.
Sir, what's the matter?
What causes such rage?
I'm afraid, he said,
I'm afraid of the pain.
Pain? Explain please.
I asked him again.
The pain of my heart
if I love her again.
I've taken her back,
Twice now it's been.
She leaves me for others.
It's always him.
I'm speechless, in shock.
No guy loves as does he.
And how could he love
a woman like she.
A pang of jealousy
stabs my left side,
and I instantly tell him
let's go for a ride.
I talk, and he listens.
He talks and I listen.
I've hurt, and he's loved.
He's hurt, and I'll love.
Kind sir, your name?
Kelly Bradley,
if you will...
My name is Jennifer,
to meet you
I am pleased.
For your time,
and your heartache.
for your voice,
and your tears.
For the lesson
that you've taught me
I'll take with me
through the years.
Hatred's Lecture
Red
Orange
Yellow
DICK!
Green
Blue
Violet
PRICK!
Wipe
Off
That
SMIRK!
Cock
Sucking
Fucking
JERK!
Continue
Your
Player
ROLE!
Heart
Stealing
Lying
ASSHOLE!
Orange
Yellow
DICK!
Green
Blue
Violet
PRICK!
Wipe
Off
That
SMIRK!
Cock
Sucking
Fucking
JERK!
Continue
Your
Player
ROLE!
Heart
Stealing
Lying
ASSHOLE!
Handprints
The one true identity
that sets us apart.
Though our souls be the same,
we've been different since start.
Lines, carefully crafted.
Blood flowing within.
These hands that want love
can so easily create sin.
Yearning to touch
the wings of the angel.
To leave her handprints
on the feathers that bind.
The one true creation
that I can call mine,
was carefully molded and
made from sands of time.
that sets us apart.
Though our souls be the same,
we've been different since start.
Lines, carefully crafted.
Blood flowing within.
These hands that want love
can so easily create sin.
Yearning to touch
the wings of the angel.
To leave her handprints
on the feathers that bind.
The one true creation
that I can call mine,
was carefully molded and
made from sands of time.
Hand Me Down
Stroud...
My last name.
I didn't used to like it.
I remember as a
child, watching my
father sign it.
Then I joined the
military, four
years after he died.
I see his last name
on my uniform and
it makes me cry.
My last name.
I didn't used to like it.
I remember as a
child, watching my
father sign it.
Then I joined the
military, four
years after he died.
I see his last name
on my uniform and
it makes me cry.
Guilt and Acceptance
I was tripping so hard
I thought I was dead.
I ran off the road
and fractured my head.
They sewed me all up...
69 stitches in red.
Somebody tell me
my friend isn't dead.
How do I tell them?
Her parents, I mean...
To say that she's dead;
do I look green?
Please pull the plug
before I awake.
I just cannot face them,
I cannot be fake.
Oh, here they come.
Mrs. Ingalls is crying.
Believe me, for real!
To die, I am trying.
They open the door
and stand by my bed.
Mr. Ingalls puts his
hand on my head.
I opened my eyes
and saw his of blue.
Something had told me
they already knew.
I thought I was dead.
I ran off the road
and fractured my head.
They sewed me all up...
69 stitches in red.
Somebody tell me
my friend isn't dead.
How do I tell them?
Her parents, I mean...
To say that she's dead;
do I look green?
Please pull the plug
before I awake.
I just cannot face them,
I cannot be fake.
Oh, here they come.
Mrs. Ingalls is crying.
Believe me, for real!
To die, I am trying.
They open the door
and stand by my bed.
Mr. Ingalls puts his
hand on my head.
I opened my eyes
and saw his of blue.
Something had told me
they already knew.
Goodbye and Suicide
Time has come to a dead stop tonight.
I've pulled the trigger and ended my life.
I swallowed my last breath of air...
I forgot to run my fingers through your hair.
I meant to say I love you before I left.
I wanted to, believe me, but this secret I kept
was drowning out my voice, it was flooding my mind.
I had to get the fuck out of here and leave this all
behind.
You mean the most of everything to me and
I know you won't understand what I have done.
I was selfish in leaving you alone in this hateful
world,
and to apologize won't undo this shit that I've
done.
I'm crying on the inside, oh how I wish that you
could see...
The darkness swirls inside of me, and makes me
sickeningly dizzy.
The demons claw me, drag me down. So far down.
Fear not, my love, my life is over. Do not frown.
There may be chance I live in hell... Here, it is for
certain
The punishment placed upon me I know was meant given.
Alive, confused, always wondering why.
For me, there were no answers in the sky.
I've pulled the trigger and ended my life.
I swallowed my last breath of air...
I forgot to run my fingers through your hair.
I meant to say I love you before I left.
I wanted to, believe me, but this secret I kept
was drowning out my voice, it was flooding my mind.
I had to get the fuck out of here and leave this all
behind.
You mean the most of everything to me and
I know you won't understand what I have done.
I was selfish in leaving you alone in this hateful
world,
and to apologize won't undo this shit that I've
done.
I'm crying on the inside, oh how I wish that you
could see...
The darkness swirls inside of me, and makes me
sickeningly dizzy.
The demons claw me, drag me down. So far down.
Fear not, my love, my life is over. Do not frown.
There may be chance I live in hell... Here, it is for
certain
The punishment placed upon me I know was meant given.
Alive, confused, always wondering why.
For me, there were no answers in the sky.
Fucking Reality
Fuck with my head,
take me for granted.
Sleep in my bed,
then leave my heart stranded.
A mind full of memories
now that you're gone;
a heart full of sorrow,
I thought you were the one.
How could you lie?
Why would you fool me?
My soul is like winter...
no leaves on the tree.
It's partly your fault
my insides are cold.
Like food in the fridge,
all covered in mold.
Take me outside,
turn the bowl over.
Before the day's end
I'll be licked up by Rover.
take me for granted.
Sleep in my bed,
then leave my heart stranded.
A mind full of memories
now that you're gone;
a heart full of sorrow,
I thought you were the one.
How could you lie?
Why would you fool me?
My soul is like winter...
no leaves on the tree.
It's partly your fault
my insides are cold.
Like food in the fridge,
all covered in mold.
Take me outside,
turn the bowl over.
Before the day's end
I'll be licked up by Rover.
Final Surrender
Why do you lie to me?
Why do I care?
It can't possibly hurt me
because the place where my heart was is bare.
I've still got my virginity.
That's all that matters.
That gives me serenity,
to know that this
was not shattered.
You've still got your girlfriend
and I'm still alone.
I thought these games would end
but I guess I was wrong.
My brain is a bone.
I give up, I don't hate you.
Just don't talk to me.
I'd be forced to like you
and I've been there before.
I don't like what I see.
Why do I care?
It can't possibly hurt me
because the place where my heart was is bare.
I've still got my virginity.
That's all that matters.
That gives me serenity,
to know that this
was not shattered.
You've still got your girlfriend
and I'm still alone.
I thought these games would end
but I guess I was wrong.
My brain is a bone.
I give up, I don't hate you.
Just don't talk to me.
I'd be forced to like you
and I've been there before.
I don't like what I see.
Fearless
I have been to hell
and dwelled in my cell
and lived to tell
of the day that I fell.
Take caution my friends
for the end is the end.
Once you've rounded the bend
you can't go back again.
So enjoy your flowers
and raindrops which shower
that fall from the towers
that make us all cowards.
and dwelled in my cell
and lived to tell
of the day that I fell.
Take caution my friends
for the end is the end.
Once you've rounded the bend
you can't go back again.
So enjoy your flowers
and raindrops which shower
that fall from the towers
that make us all cowards.
Faith
He is my life,
though death is his presence.
His hands are my foundation,
and his words are my guidance.
His laughter gave me joy.
His anger made me sad.
His death made me rage,
and "he" is my dad.
His memory gives me life.
Another day in this hell.
Maybe next time a quarter
should fall in the well!
I loved you my father.
I loved you, dear friend.
You were here for the beginning.
I hope you'll be there in the end.
though death is his presence.
His hands are my foundation,
and his words are my guidance.
His laughter gave me joy.
His anger made me sad.
His death made me rage,
and "he" is my dad.
His memory gives me life.
Another day in this hell.
Maybe next time a quarter
should fall in the well!
I loved you my father.
I loved you, dear friend.
You were here for the beginning.
I hope you'll be there in the end.
Expressions Without Words
Like a swelling
cloud of rain,
this rage explodes
inside my brain.
The hatred I have
for our morbid God
is more than
words can say.
He took away the
one person I thought
would be around
forever, my dad.
Because of this
my mother, too,
has left me to
grow by myself.
As much as I
don't like admitting
it, I am still a
child of seventeen.
A curfew and
rules would be
nice. All my
friends have them.
A hug from
my father would
be an eternal
Christmas present.
I know not
why I write
these words
to you.
Maybe because,
like you, I need
someone whom
I can cry to.
Yes, I have my
friends, but
no one understands
pain like you.
It's nice to have
someone to
blame all of
the rage on.
In my case
everything happened
because of
God.
I seek your presence
because I enjoy
your mere friendship
and company.
To see you smile
makes me happy,
because it seems like
you hurt the way I do.
Meaning if someone
like you can hurt like
me and still be happy,
then I can too!
I guess what I've
been meaning to
tell you is you're my
best good guy friend.
Gaining your
respect wasn't all
that easy, and
I'm glad I did.
All I have left
to say is when
you "know"
there's no one there
You're wrong!
Cause I'll be here.
Even at 7:75
in the morning...
*for Jeff
cloud of rain,
this rage explodes
inside my brain.
The hatred I have
for our morbid God
is more than
words can say.
He took away the
one person I thought
would be around
forever, my dad.
Because of this
my mother, too,
has left me to
grow by myself.
As much as I
don't like admitting
it, I am still a
child of seventeen.
A curfew and
rules would be
nice. All my
friends have them.
A hug from
my father would
be an eternal
Christmas present.
I know not
why I write
these words
to you.
Maybe because,
like you, I need
someone whom
I can cry to.
Yes, I have my
friends, but
no one understands
pain like you.
It's nice to have
someone to
blame all of
the rage on.
In my case
everything happened
because of
God.
I seek your presence
because I enjoy
your mere friendship
and company.
To see you smile
makes me happy,
because it seems like
you hurt the way I do.
Meaning if someone
like you can hurt like
me and still be happy,
then I can too!
I guess what I've
been meaning to
tell you is you're my
best good guy friend.
Gaining your
respect wasn't all
that easy, and
I'm glad I did.
All I have left
to say is when
you "know"
there's no one there
You're wrong!
Cause I'll be here.
Even at 7:75
in the morning...
*for Jeff
Eroticism
Come in me
O' chosen one.
The passion in my bed.
My lips are pursed,
my tongue unfolds.
I take in all your head.
Emotion, blood,
sweat and tears.
I take them all at once.
Inexperience, self consciousness
leaves me feeling
like a dunce.
Unravel these,
the sins of love.
Take away my sorrow.
Leave me feeling
more in love
and wanting you tomorrow.
O' chosen one.
The passion in my bed.
My lips are pursed,
my tongue unfolds.
I take in all your head.
Emotion, blood,
sweat and tears.
I take them all at once.
Inexperience, self consciousness
leaves me feeling
like a dunce.
Unravel these,
the sins of love.
Take away my sorrow.
Leave me feeling
more in love
and wanting you tomorrow.
Entangled Thoughts
The path is long and winding
through this rain forest of trees.
I walk this path, so all alone.
Just myself, I, and me.
I carry a satchel upon my back
and a hat upon my head,
and a book full of memories
just waiting to be read.
Alone I walk through this
a jungle of trees and thoughts.
Barefooted, on this trail of life
stumbling over rocks.
Stars to guide me in the night,
love to call my heart.
Faith led me to believe
we'd never be apart.
So foolish of me to believe your lifes,
to depend on someone SO much.
For here I am, alone in the dark,
without so much as your touch.
through this rain forest of trees.
I walk this path, so all alone.
Just myself, I, and me.
I carry a satchel upon my back
and a hat upon my head,
and a book full of memories
just waiting to be read.
Alone I walk through this
a jungle of trees and thoughts.
Barefooted, on this trail of life
stumbling over rocks.
Stars to guide me in the night,
love to call my heart.
Faith led me to believe
we'd never be apart.
So foolish of me to believe your lifes,
to depend on someone SO much.
For here I am, alone in the dark,
without so much as your touch.
Drunken State
gasp
sink
strain
think
float
recover
gasp
drink
dark
room
water
cold
warm
sun
food
old.
sink
strain
think
float
recover
gasp
drink
dark
room
water
cold
warm
sun
food
old.
Down Time
I place myself
on the window shelf
with my microwaved pizza
and nothing else.
My eyes follow the fenceline,
and the cars on both sides
and I yearn to be with them
going for a ride.
Instead, a small tear falls,
drops down to moisten walls.
But I know in the end,
I'll stand tall. . er.
on the window shelf
with my microwaved pizza
and nothing else.
My eyes follow the fenceline,
and the cars on both sides
and I yearn to be with them
going for a ride.
Instead, a small tear falls,
drops down to moisten walls.
But I know in the end,
I'll stand tall. . er.
Desperation
It's like holding your breath
and diving into the abyss
and traveling so far down
that your ears begin to pop.
When you begin to get dizzy,
and the lights all shut off,
and the people all leave,
and the noise just stops.
And all is dark inside
the room. Cold shivers
overtake me.
And the sheet is pulled
down around my head,
and I'm pushed into the sea.
and diving into the abyss
and traveling so far down
that your ears begin to pop.
When you begin to get dizzy,
and the lights all shut off,
and the people all leave,
and the noise just stops.
And all is dark inside
the room. Cold shivers
overtake me.
And the sheet is pulled
down around my head,
and I'm pushed into the sea.
Desilation
Perish these lips
for they have been poisoned
by, not a man,
but a beast!
One who has
taken the love
that she gave, and
with it, he feasted.
He gave not in return.
In turn, the soul
of an angel soon
became a demon.
A grief, looking for
justice. Only to be
found in the body
of his dead lover.
Oh perish these lips
with a double edge.
Slice them off, with
none to replace them.
For a new pair
of lips on the same soul
would only soon
make the same mistake.
for they have been poisoned
by, not a man,
but a beast!
One who has
taken the love
that she gave, and
with it, he feasted.
He gave not in return.
In turn, the soul
of an angel soon
became a demon.
A grief, looking for
justice. Only to be
found in the body
of his dead lover.
Oh perish these lips
with a double edge.
Slice them off, with
none to replace them.
For a new pair
of lips on the same soul
would only soon
make the same mistake.
Description of an Angel
Voice of a whisper
soft like a pillow,
a constant hiss
of the S.
White wings, feathers,
golden robes,
blonde hair, blue eyes,
pink lips.
Sun stricken halo,
flutter, bye, Angel.
Sleep on your
cloud with the rest.
soft like a pillow,
a constant hiss
of the S.
White wings, feathers,
golden robes,
blonde hair, blue eyes,
pink lips.
Sun stricken halo,
flutter, bye, Angel.
Sleep on your
cloud with the rest.
Dedication to the B52
They are the whales
of the greatest sea known.
Soaring on high
through waves of white foam.
Attacking the weak
and defending the strong.
Maintaining our freedom
all the days long.
Gray colored dolphins,
accompanying the flight.
Dying with daylight,
approaching the night.
Open your eyes
big whale of the sky.
Onward brave soldier.
Spread your wings and fly.
of the greatest sea known.
Soaring on high
through waves of white foam.
Attacking the weak
and defending the strong.
Maintaining our freedom
all the days long.
Gray colored dolphins,
accompanying the flight.
Dying with daylight,
approaching the night.
Open your eyes
big whale of the sky.
Onward brave soldier.
Spread your wings and fly.
Death Grip on Eternity
I've wandered the Earth in solitude,
searching for your soul.
Many a dark and stormy night,
I've wished for you to hold.
Inside, I treasure a thousand words.
All for you to hear.
A chill lurks in the depths of me
and I yearn to have you near.
The debris of my emotions flew
the moment your breath became mine.
And the absence of air within my lungs
was forgotten for a short time.
And since that moment of breathlessness,
when I held you, oh so close.
I haven't been able to imagine
going back to being alone.
searching for your soul.
Many a dark and stormy night,
I've wished for you to hold.
Inside, I treasure a thousand words.
All for you to hear.
A chill lurks in the depths of me
and I yearn to have you near.
The debris of my emotions flew
the moment your breath became mine.
And the absence of air within my lungs
was forgotten for a short time.
And since that moment of breathlessness,
when I held you, oh so close.
I haven't been able to imagine
going back to being alone.
Daddy's Little Angel
Cover me in angel dust,
glitter made of gold.
Lift me up on top your wings.
Flying, I am bold.
Place me on the steeple
to overlook the town.
Don't fly too far away,
because I may fall down.
Let me wear your halo, Daddy.
Although, it may fall off.
Don't worry, Daddy, if it falls,
The clouds were made real soft.
Walk me up those big old steps
and through the golden gates.
Hurry though, only because
they'll close them if we're late!
Whatever you do, don't take me home
because I want to stay with you.
So forever on end, I won't be one
cause you and I make two.
glitter made of gold.
Lift me up on top your wings.
Flying, I am bold.
Place me on the steeple
to overlook the town.
Don't fly too far away,
because I may fall down.
Let me wear your halo, Daddy.
Although, it may fall off.
Don't worry, Daddy, if it falls,
The clouds were made real soft.
Walk me up those big old steps
and through the golden gates.
Hurry though, only because
they'll close them if we're late!
Whatever you do, don't take me home
because I want to stay with you.
So forever on end, I won't be one
cause you and I make two.
Confusion
Standing in the middle
of an untouched corn field,
surrounded by the green
of it all.
Caught up in my thoughts
I slowly look down
and without surprise
I am BAREFOOTED!
Standing while it rains,
pouring down around me,
sweating from the heat,
and sticky from humidity.
Dirt covers my hands
from scratching at the earth.
I was searching for my lost,
my unfound soul.
Holding my hands high
I start screaming WHY!?
Is mine the soul the
spirits found no purpose for?
of an untouched corn field,
surrounded by the green
of it all.
Caught up in my thoughts
I slowly look down
and without surprise
I am BAREFOOTED!
Standing while it rains,
pouring down around me,
sweating from the heat,
and sticky from humidity.
Dirt covers my hands
from scratching at the earth.
I was searching for my lost,
my unfound soul.
Holding my hands high
I start screaming WHY!?
Is mine the soul the
spirits found no purpose for?
Compromise
I could have saved you
from your life in jail.
From your darkest days
in the depths of hell.
But the lies in our past
forbid my second chance
to steal your soul
and make your heart dance.
It's a good thing now
though, that you're gone.
I've got much to learn
and life's too long.
I can't sit and wait
because it hurts too much.
I yearn for a love
and there's more to touch.
The memory remains of
the smiles that we shared.
But the love that is out there...
you don't even compare.
from your life in jail.
From your darkest days
in the depths of hell.
But the lies in our past
forbid my second chance
to steal your soul
and make your heart dance.
It's a good thing now
though, that you're gone.
I've got much to learn
and life's too long.
I can't sit and wait
because it hurts too much.
I yearn for a love
and there's more to touch.
The memory remains of
the smiles that we shared.
But the love that is out there...
you don't even compare.
Coming to Terms
I live in a world
where sex is a game.
A contest for men
who want to earn fame.
Back in the old days
it was a way of life.
They who wanted children
had sex with their wife.
In this day and age,
sex is a sin.
Bare breasted women,
and heartless, young men.
It's not making love,
because it doesn't exist.
It's ten minutes of motion,
then the next on the list!
We are all foolish people
for allowing such greed.
It's sex that you want,
and it's love that I need.
where sex is a game.
A contest for men
who want to earn fame.
Back in the old days
it was a way of life.
They who wanted children
had sex with their wife.
In this day and age,
sex is a sin.
Bare breasted women,
and heartless, young men.
It's not making love,
because it doesn't exist.
It's ten minutes of motion,
then the next on the list!
We are all foolish people
for allowing such greed.
It's sex that you want,
and it's love that I need.
Cannibal Hector
Lying on the
cold asphalt of
6th street, under
a bright street lamp
in a pool of blood.
Thunder strikes
and lightning flashes.
Street light goes
out and it starts
to flood.
Blood washes away.
The pale, blue
body is caught
under the tires of
a car, again.
Black car keeps
driving; blue
body, mangled,
is thrown into
the gutter.
Homeless man
walks by, sees
the mangled body
and says to himself...
"Mmm! Supper!"
cold asphalt of
6th street, under
a bright street lamp
in a pool of blood.
Thunder strikes
and lightning flashes.
Street light goes
out and it starts
to flood.
Blood washes away.
The pale, blue
body is caught
under the tires of
a car, again.
Black car keeps
driving; blue
body, mangled,
is thrown into
the gutter.
Homeless man
walks by, sees
the mangled body
and says to himself...
"Mmm! Supper!"
Breakdown
I feel the approach of
an earth shattering event.
The weight of a thousand men
bears down on my heat
stricken body. My mind
is compressed with
seemingly endless
knowledge. Personality
is absent as I am forced
to conform to military
uniformity. I cry inside
as I look beyond the gates
at freedom. I am caged for
four years. While my
punishment was voluntarily
asked for, I cannot conform.
I am lost in who I've
become. I'm alone in
my unidorm. I want
to go home and hide in
my room and never come
out again. I want to hide
from my fears, and swallow
my tears. I want to starve
and wither, and stop
worrying about how
I'm going to survive tomorrow.
I don't want anything
expected of me. I want
to be anonymous.
Solitary. At one with
silence in nature.
Living among the
wolves and
worshipping the moon.
Cover me in snow
so they cannot see me.
Erase my name from
the trees. Do not
associate me with
numbers. Do not shout
for your words bruise
the ears which hear
harshness. Praise me
not for what I've done,
but for who I am. Do
not love me. Just walk
past me and leave me
the hell alone...
an earth shattering event.
The weight of a thousand men
bears down on my heat
stricken body. My mind
is compressed with
seemingly endless
knowledge. Personality
is absent as I am forced
to conform to military
uniformity. I cry inside
as I look beyond the gates
at freedom. I am caged for
four years. While my
punishment was voluntarily
asked for, I cannot conform.
I am lost in who I've
become. I'm alone in
my unidorm. I want
to go home and hide in
my room and never come
out again. I want to hide
from my fears, and swallow
my tears. I want to starve
and wither, and stop
worrying about how
I'm going to survive tomorrow.
I don't want anything
expected of me. I want
to be anonymous.
Solitary. At one with
silence in nature.
Living among the
wolves and
worshipping the moon.
Cover me in snow
so they cannot see me.
Erase my name from
the trees. Do not
associate me with
numbers. Do not shout
for your words bruise
the ears which hear
harshness. Praise me
not for what I've done,
but for who I am. Do
not love me. Just walk
past me and leave me
the hell alone...
Blackout Light
Life ain't shit.
Once in a while
a good sunset
comes along.
One moment of
sheer light,
and then back
into darkness.
Drowning in water,
I struggle to find
my way to the top.
I've failed to.
It's a good thing.
At least in hell
my future is
figured out.
Once in a while
a good sunset
comes along.
One moment of
sheer light,
and then back
into darkness.
Drowning in water,
I struggle to find
my way to the top.
I've failed to.
It's a good thing.
At least in hell
my future is
figured out.
Begging for Mercy
Behind these oceans that are my eyes,
a hurricane is breathing.
This diverse world is so complex
I've started to ponder leaving.
I've waited years for the eye of the storm
and I've yet to see the calm.
I've prayed a while for a crutch,
and God withholds his palms.
Deliver me, Lord, from the winds that blow,
and the rains that pour down sideways.
Shield me angels, with your wings...
Guide me through the haze.
a hurricane is breathing.
This diverse world is so complex
I've started to ponder leaving.
I've waited years for the eye of the storm
and I've yet to see the calm.
I've prayed a while for a crutch,
and God withholds his palms.
Deliver me, Lord, from the winds that blow,
and the rains that pour down sideways.
Shield me angels, with your wings...
Guide me through the haze.
Basic Dreams
UP, one.
Another sting.
UP, two.
I want a ring.
UP, three...
Open the door.
UP, four...
I want more!
DOWN one.
Deep breath.
DOWN two.
Twenty left.
DOWN three.
Money knocks.
DOWN four.
Ticking clocks.
LEFT, LEFT...
Push on, girl.
LEFT, RIGHT
LEFT..
LEFT, LEF...
I see free world.
LEFT, RIGHT
LEFT...
Another sting.
UP, two.
I want a ring.
UP, three...
Open the door.
UP, four...
I want more!
DOWN one.
Deep breath.
DOWN two.
Twenty left.
DOWN three.
Money knocks.
DOWN four.
Ticking clocks.
LEFT, LEFT...
Push on, girl.
LEFT, RIGHT
LEFT..
LEFT, LEF...
I see free world.
LEFT, RIGHT
LEFT...
Backwards Fusion
Love is not a promise,
but a necessity.
Love has no definition,
and no absolute value.
It has not been
scientifically proven.
It's not extinct,
yet it's not instinct.
Love must be learned,
but it is not taught.
Love produces hate,
and in return, is loved.
Fusion between two people
should be approached differently.
Because sometimes,
love is on Halloween.
but a necessity.
Love has no definition,
and no absolute value.
It has not been
scientifically proven.
It's not extinct,
yet it's not instinct.
Love must be learned,
but it is not taught.
Love produces hate,
and in return, is loved.
Fusion between two people
should be approached differently.
Because sometimes,
love is on Halloween.
Baby Steps
Look u p.
Beyond the womb
and see the light
and reach for it.
Dive I n.
Deep within the soul
and don't come back
until you have it.
Chin h I g h.
Up, u p to the sky!
Arch your back,
wave goodbye.
Fall d o w n.
Tears streamin, in
memory of the past.
Grieve for it.
Fade a w a y.
Dried up drops,
leaving salt stained
cheeks in the sun.
Move o n.
Keep breathing,
Learn from the past,
wake up tomorrow.
Beyond the womb
and see the light
and reach for it.
Dive I n.
Deep within the soul
and don't come back
until you have it.
Chin h I g h.
Up, u p to the sky!
Arch your back,
wave goodbye.
Fall d o w n.
Tears streamin, in
memory of the past.
Grieve for it.
Fade a w a y.
Dried up drops,
leaving salt stained
cheeks in the sun.
Move o n.
Keep breathing,
Learn from the past,
wake up tomorrow.
At This Moment
Everything's falling down,
the walls all around me.
Crumbling in an instant,
my whole entire town.
The car I used to drive in
sits on my mom's front lawn.
I want to get so wasted.
I need a bottle of gin.
The cops are all after me,
because I have no money.
I got fired from my job.
I think my cat has fleas.
My boyfriend has a girlfriend
and his girlfriend isn't me.
Give me a 12-gauge shotgun,
and I'll make his heart bend.
Throw down the stepladder,
to help me from this well.
I'll just fall back in, backwards...
so keep it. It don't matter.
the walls all around me.
Crumbling in an instant,
my whole entire town.
The car I used to drive in
sits on my mom's front lawn.
I want to get so wasted.
I need a bottle of gin.
The cops are all after me,
because I have no money.
I got fired from my job.
I think my cat has fleas.
My boyfriend has a girlfriend
and his girlfriend isn't me.
Give me a 12-gauge shotgun,
and I'll make his heart bend.
Throw down the stepladder,
to help me from this well.
I'll just fall back in, backwards...
so keep it. It don't matter.
Apology
He gave you to me,
and I threw you away.
I was greedy in love,
what more can I say?
I apologize squared
for the pain I have caused.
I'll realize later of
the love that I've lost.
and I threw you away.
I was greedy in love,
what more can I say?
I apologize squared
for the pain I have caused.
I'll realize later of
the love that I've lost.
Anorexic Result
Grumble, Grumble.
Swallow, mumble.
Be bold, be brave.
I walk, I stumble.
To see, I strain.
Too weak, my brain.
One more meal
to eat, I refrain.
Push it all down,
the urge to chow down.
The pain is intense.
Remove my crown.
Set me aside,
to wither and dry.
Look not for me here.
I'm in the sky.
Swallow, mumble.
Be bold, be brave.
I walk, I stumble.
To see, I strain.
Too weak, my brain.
One more meal
to eat, I refrain.
Push it all down,
the urge to chow down.
The pain is intense.
Remove my crown.
Set me aside,
to wither and dry.
Look not for me here.
I'm in the sky.
Ambition
I wonder what it's like
to be them.
On the outside of the cage,
so free.
I dream of what it's like
to soar up high
and perch myself on top
the tallest tree.
I am my own
yellow canary,
soaring through skies
of golden clouds.
Although I appear a
dirty, cages sparrow...
I won't let all that
bring me down.
to be them.
On the outside of the cage,
so free.
I dream of what it's like
to soar up high
and perch myself on top
the tallest tree.
I am my own
yellow canary,
soaring through skies
of golden clouds.
Although I appear a
dirty, cages sparrow...
I won't let all that
bring me down.
Amazing Beauty
He stood there,
overlooking the ocean.
His feet planted
where the water
meets the land.
He listened
to the music
that the sunset made.
And in feeling God's presence,
he raised up his hands.
The warmth of a star
spread across his face.
The coolness of the
water rushed up
onto his feet.
Then the temperature fell,
and the sky darkened.
He put his head in
his hands and
began to weep.
For the beauty of
the sunrise, and
the events in between
had all too
soon been beat.
overlooking the ocean.
His feet planted
where the water
meets the land.
He listened
to the music
that the sunset made.
And in feeling God's presence,
he raised up his hands.
The warmth of a star
spread across his face.
The coolness of the
water rushed up
onto his feet.
Then the temperature fell,
and the sky darkened.
He put his head in
his hands and
began to weep.
For the beauty of
the sunrise, and
the events in between
had all too
soon been beat.
A|0wishus
I asked for your hand in marriage,
and you immediately turned me down.
Perhaps because you didn't know me,
and we lived in different towns.
At first you were a computer screen,
but now you are my goal.
I've gone to college to clean up my act,
and all this to win your soul.
I realize this is a fantasy,
that you'll always just be a friend.
It's always nice to reach for dreams,
and pray they turn out good in the end.
We've made each other laugh and cry,
and felt each other's pain.
We've sat up talking late at night
you've helped me see my shame.
There will always be that distance there,
between your body and mine.
But just the same, we've invaded each other,
by heart, and emotion, and mind.
and you immediately turned me down.
Perhaps because you didn't know me,
and we lived in different towns.
At first you were a computer screen,
but now you are my goal.
I've gone to college to clean up my act,
and all this to win your soul.
I realize this is a fantasy,
that you'll always just be a friend.
It's always nice to reach for dreams,
and pray they turn out good in the end.
We've made each other laugh and cry,
and felt each other's pain.
We've sat up talking late at night
you've helped me see my shame.
There will always be that distance there,
between your body and mine.
But just the same, we've invaded each other,
by heart, and emotion, and mind.
Alone
I came here.
I positioned myself way
out here in the dark
without light's rays.
And I feel secure
under this tree.
Small, and leafless.
It is me.
And people pass me
and see me not.
I'm withering, alone.
I will rot.
I positioned myself way
out here in the dark
without light's rays.
And I feel secure
under this tree.
Small, and leafless.
It is me.
And people pass me
and see me not.
I'm withering, alone.
I will rot.
Almost Fed Up
I have again returned
to that morbid time.
The one I thought
I'd left behind.
Where all is dark,
and filled with gloom.
There is no mercy
in this room.
I brought this on
all by myself.
I've been taken off
this 10 ft. shelf.
I look everyone
straight in the eyes.
My father yells down
from the skies.
Shame has wrapped
his arms around me.
Satan pulls me
towards the sea.
I gasp for air and
struggle for the top.
There's a knock at the door,
in my face, a cop.
He cuffs me and
throws me into his car.
In bed that night,
through one eye, a bar.
Next morning, my mother.
No smile and no hug.
I climb in the front of
our VW bug.
I return home,
same old shit as before.
Once this is fixed,
will there be anymore?
to that morbid time.
The one I thought
I'd left behind.
Where all is dark,
and filled with gloom.
There is no mercy
in this room.
I brought this on
all by myself.
I've been taken off
this 10 ft. shelf.
I look everyone
straight in the eyes.
My father yells down
from the skies.
Shame has wrapped
his arms around me.
Satan pulls me
towards the sea.
I gasp for air and
struggle for the top.
There's a knock at the door,
in my face, a cop.
He cuffs me and
throws me into his car.
In bed that night,
through one eye, a bar.
Next morning, my mother.
No smile and no hug.
I climb in the front of
our VW bug.
I return home,
same old shit as before.
Once this is fixed,
will there be anymore?
All for Nothing
Hopes
Dreams
Wishes
Fall...
Downward
Spiral
Into
Nothing...
Build
Build
Build
Crumble...
Child
Adult
Dying
Dead...
City
State
Country
War...
Dreams
Wishes
Fall...
Downward
Spiral
Into
Nothing...
Build
Build
Build
Crumble...
Child
Adult
Dying
Dead...
City
State
Country
War...
ABC Description
Always been cold.
Don't ever forget getting high.
Is Jennifer.
Kissy love mush.
Never offers pussy.
Quits repeatedly.
Says to understand values.
Wish.
X-ray your Zodiac.
Don't ever forget getting high.
Is Jennifer.
Kissy love mush.
Never offers pussy.
Quits repeatedly.
Says to understand values.
Wish.
X-ray your Zodiac.
A Poem About My Father
He walks alone, down a crowded street.
Yearning to be heard, but no one can hear.
Yearning to be seen, but no one can see.
He is a traveler with no place to go.
He sits surrounded at the dinner table.
Yearning to eat, but he can't lift the fork.
Yearning to drink, but he can't hold the glass.
He is a hand without a glove.
He lies in the grass, beneath the oak tree.
Yearning to feel the breeze, but he has no skin.
Yearning to touch the tree, but he has no fingers.
He is an eagle without wings.
He stands in the mirror, blank as can be.
Yearning to see himself, for he knows he is there.
But as a spirit has no body, no skin, no feeling,
he stands in silence, unheard... unseen.
He lies on a cloud, thinking of life,
his daughter, and his wife.
From somewhere in the wind, the faint
voice of his daughter lifts from below.
He listens contently, proud to be known.
He now knows his daughter believes in him,
and only wishes she could know
that he hears her.
Yearning to be heard, but no one can hear.
Yearning to be seen, but no one can see.
He is a traveler with no place to go.
He sits surrounded at the dinner table.
Yearning to eat, but he can't lift the fork.
Yearning to drink, but he can't hold the glass.
He is a hand without a glove.
He lies in the grass, beneath the oak tree.
Yearning to feel the breeze, but he has no skin.
Yearning to touch the tree, but he has no fingers.
He is an eagle without wings.
He stands in the mirror, blank as can be.
Yearning to see himself, for he knows he is there.
But as a spirit has no body, no skin, no feeling,
he stands in silence, unheard... unseen.
He lies on a cloud, thinking of life,
his daughter, and his wife.
From somewhere in the wind, the faint
voice of his daughter lifts from below.
He listens contently, proud to be known.
He now knows his daughter believes in him,
and only wishes she could know
that he hears her.
A Moment in Harmony
It's hard to describe
this beautiful place.
It's heavenly,
like an angel's face.
The water is clear
like a window,
and it speaks
in soft tones.
The grass is of
yellow cotton.
Soft carpet lying
beneath my toes.
The one sitting
beside me is of
no existence. Yet,
He has a heart.
The only words
He speaks are
I love you.
I fall apart.
A simple kiss
on the tips of
my fingers
gathers me.
I open my eyes
and my tears
catch the rays
of the sun.
The yellow carpet
and streaming water
are gone. My search
for Him has just begun.
this beautiful place.
It's heavenly,
like an angel's face.
The water is clear
like a window,
and it speaks
in soft tones.
The grass is of
yellow cotton.
Soft carpet lying
beneath my toes.
The one sitting
beside me is of
no existence. Yet,
He has a heart.
The only words
He speaks are
I love you.
I fall apart.
A simple kiss
on the tips of
my fingers
gathers me.
I open my eyes
and my tears
catch the rays
of the sun.
The yellow carpet
and streaming water
are gone. My search
for Him has just begun.
A Military Thought
It's these late nights
that make it all real.
The disruption of one's
normal rhythm.
When you're forced
to stay awake and
accomplish the tasks
associated with defending
your country.
It's outrageous the
way we torture
ourselves, drowning out
sleep, severing the ties
with family to stay
loyal to the fifty
states. Sometimes I
wonder if it's all worth it.
that make it all real.
The disruption of one's
normal rhythm.
When you're forced
to stay awake and
accomplish the tasks
associated with defending
your country.
It's outrageous the
way we torture
ourselves, drowning out
sleep, severing the ties
with family to stay
loyal to the fifty
states. Sometimes I
wonder if it's all worth it.
A Mechanical World
Trucks.
Robots speeding down the highway
with human brains for thought.
Yet, so much a free body.
Computers.
Giving orders to obedient humans.
Laying down the law of th eland.
Mistaken for humans most of the time.
Asphalt grass.
Asphalt grass and concrete flower beds
with skyscraping flowers.
And rundown buildings for weeds.
Humans.
Living creatures who question true life.
People who let computers do the thinking
while they walk through the asphalt grass.
Robots speeding down the highway
with human brains for thought.
Yet, so much a free body.
Computers.
Giving orders to obedient humans.
Laying down the law of th eland.
Mistaken for humans most of the time.
Asphalt grass.
Asphalt grass and concrete flower beds
with skyscraping flowers.
And rundown buildings for weeds.
Humans.
Living creatures who question true life.
People who let computers do the thinking
while they walk through the asphalt grass.
A Life of Compromise
I will be yours
if you will be mine.
Your job is to teach me
all about life.
Give me wings
and help me to fly.
Love me forever and
please do not lie.
Ask me a question
just don't ask me why.
Give me the ground
and I'll give you the sky.
If I am sad,
allow me to cry.
If I am sick
then help me to die.
If you want sex,
calm all my fears.
Then together we'll be
all through the years.
if you will be mine.
Your job is to teach me
all about life.
Give me wings
and help me to fly.
Love me forever and
please do not lie.
Ask me a question
just don't ask me why.
Give me the ground
and I'll give you the sky.
If I am sad,
allow me to cry.
If I am sick
then help me to die.
If you want sex,
calm all my fears.
Then together we'll be
all through the years.
A Life Changed
Standing at the position of attention
among the sea of black, brown, and green.
Mapping out a nearing future,
constantly trying not to be seen.
Dewdrops drip down softened trees,
and dry before they hit the floor.
The pain, the heat, the sweat and stink,
nothing stops as we push for more.
Old Glory waves her hands on high
as inside, we breathe with pride.
Six weeks of passing, goals everlasting.
A briefing for the seat on our next ride.
From rainbows, to trainees, to AIRMEN,
we held on for one hell of a time.
This coin, this uniform, this flag and country
I can step back and finally call mine.
To my brothers and sisters of the 331st,
with whom I shed so many tears...
This experience, and you, will not be forgotten
as I trudge forward throughout the years.
Dedicated to FLT 391 and 392, 331 TRS
Lackland AFB, TX 000517-000630
among the sea of black, brown, and green.
Mapping out a nearing future,
constantly trying not to be seen.
Dewdrops drip down softened trees,
and dry before they hit the floor.
The pain, the heat, the sweat and stink,
nothing stops as we push for more.
Old Glory waves her hands on high
as inside, we breathe with pride.
Six weeks of passing, goals everlasting.
A briefing for the seat on our next ride.
From rainbows, to trainees, to AIRMEN,
we held on for one hell of a time.
This coin, this uniform, this flag and country
I can step back and finally call mine.
To my brothers and sisters of the 331st,
with whom I shed so many tears...
This experience, and you, will not be forgotten
as I trudge forward throughout the years.
Dedicated to FLT 391 and 392, 331 TRS
Lackland AFB, TX 000517-000630
A Lesson in Love
How is it possible
to make him see
that I love him
but he doesn't love me?
All he's in love with
is a tease from hell.
He's going to get hurt
and I know that well.
Is it such a crime
to be so innocent?
To gain respect
is time well spent.
Or at least that's
what my mother tells me.
However my point of view
is the one she doesn't see.
Back to the question
of helping him out...
I guess all I can do
is say it out loud.
But when I tell him,
all he will see
is a stupid virgin
instead of a tease.
Someone who's shy
and afraid to be touched.
He won't give me time,
or at least not enough.
The time that he gave her
was enough to let her see
that he was the one;
the one for me.
Back to the question
of cluing him in.
I guess all I can do
is try it again.
to make him see
that I love him
but he doesn't love me?
All he's in love with
is a tease from hell.
He's going to get hurt
and I know that well.
Is it such a crime
to be so innocent?
To gain respect
is time well spent.
Or at least that's
what my mother tells me.
However my point of view
is the one she doesn't see.
Back to the question
of helping him out...
I guess all I can do
is say it out loud.
But when I tell him,
all he will see
is a stupid virgin
instead of a tease.
Someone who's shy
and afraid to be touched.
He won't give me time,
or at least not enough.
The time that he gave her
was enough to let her see
that he was the one;
the one for me.
Back to the question
of cluing him in.
I guess all I can do
is try it again.
A Hidden Passion
I am sitting here
below the light of the moon
and I have decided
to write for you.
From one poet to another,
as we both know
our true feelings are within.
We're too scared to show.
Well, you know what I mean.
Poets write about thoughts.
However mine remain hidden.
You'll call the shots.
There's something about you,
I don't quite know what.
It could be the smile
or your invisible butt!!!
But that something about you
keeps drawing me near.
I wish you could see it.
Isn't it clear?
I wish you were mine
to hug and to squeeze.
To have and to hold you
whenever I please.
below the light of the moon
and I have decided
to write for you.
From one poet to another,
as we both know
our true feelings are within.
We're too scared to show.
Well, you know what I mean.
Poets write about thoughts.
However mine remain hidden.
You'll call the shots.
There's something about you,
I don't quite know what.
It could be the smile
or your invisible butt!!!
But that something about you
keeps drawing me near.
I wish you could see it.
Isn't it clear?
I wish you were mine
to hug and to squeeze.
To have and to hold you
whenever I please.
A Hallway
Here I am
and there it is,
a bit out of reach.
My future is
at the end of a hallway.
I am at the beginning.
I yell for help
and my voice
echoes back with
no answer.
The hallway is dark.
At the end
there is light.
Things are in the way.
I will trip if I walk.
I will fall if I trip.
I will bleed if I fall.
Time does not heal
the wounds that I bear.
Time makes them worse.
Someone turn the
hourglass over,
then leave it
forever alone.
and there it is,
a bit out of reach.
My future is
at the end of a hallway.
I am at the beginning.
I yell for help
and my voice
echoes back with
no answer.
The hallway is dark.
At the end
there is light.
Things are in the way.
I will trip if I walk.
I will fall if I trip.
I will bleed if I fall.
Time does not heal
the wounds that I bear.
Time makes them worse.
Someone turn the
hourglass over,
then leave it
forever alone.
A Few Words
What is a word?
How powerful is it?
Can one move you?
Like the world love...
It makes people cry.
The word hate
makes them scream.
The word hello
brings a smile.
Help sends
them running.
Please implies
begging.
And silence...
How powerful is it?
Can one move you?
Like the world love...
It makes people cry.
The word hate
makes them scream.
The word hello
brings a smile.
Help sends
them running.
Please implies
begging.
And silence...
A Different View
In the midst of silence
stands a girl
who is just as eager to love
and be loved.
She isn't of
great beauty or anything.
She's just an average girl,
or so I think.
She's in love with this guy
who sees only gorgeous.
And because she's just average
she is invisible.
Maybe her fair skin
will seem more like porcelain
when she's lying in a casket
with him standing over her.
stands a girl
who is just as eager to love
and be loved.
She isn't of
great beauty or anything.
She's just an average girl,
or so I think.
She's in love with this guy
who sees only gorgeous.
And because she's just average
she is invisible.
Maybe her fair skin
will seem more like porcelain
when she's lying in a casket
with him standing over her.
A Daily Observation
I'm sitting here on the couch
and you don't know this, but I'm
looking at your hands. And I'm
noticing how you're sitting.
And I see the way you perch your
chin between your thumb and fingers.
And I watch as the television makes you
smile, and I notice the wrinkles under
your eyes. I take note of the way
your shoulders bounce when you chuckle.
Oops, I think you caught me staring.
You've looked over once or twice, and
smiled. I guess I'll stop looking now.
I love you, Daddy.
and you don't know this, but I'm
looking at your hands. And I'm
noticing how you're sitting.
And I see the way you perch your
chin between your thumb and fingers.
And I watch as the television makes you
smile, and I notice the wrinkles under
your eyes. I take note of the way
your shoulders bounce when you chuckle.
Oops, I think you caught me staring.
You've looked over once or twice, and
smiled. I guess I'll stop looking now.
I love you, Daddy.
A Cry for Understanding
Life is not a road,
and humans are not cars.
We are mere, blind souls
wandering on far.
Winding through the trees,
coming to a cliff...
Not seeing the drop
we fall into flight.
When we reach bottom
luck is our draw.
Whether we die
or keep going on.
I could not be any
more unfortunate.
Through all my falls
I have lived.
Another day in hell
another night alone.
It just isn't worth it.
Death... give me some.
and humans are not cars.
We are mere, blind souls
wandering on far.
Winding through the trees,
coming to a cliff...
Not seeing the drop
we fall into flight.
When we reach bottom
luck is our draw.
Whether we die
or keep going on.
I could not be any
more unfortunate.
Through all my falls
I have lived.
Another day in hell
another night alone.
It just isn't worth it.
Death... give me some.
A $6 Dollar Disney World
Just a little piece
of paper that's not
green and doesn't mean
shit to anyone but me.
Like a time machine,
it takes me back
and makes me laugh
at the stupidest things.
In one reality, I
know not who I am.
In another, the
shit really sucks.
But when I get off the
airplane, all it comes
down to are them
damn goats and ducks.
334 MTF, Keesler AFB, MS
All the lines
from left to right.
Lined up straight,
into the night.
Light bright,
bright light.
In a line,
lights white.
One door.
Two doors.
All corners.
Three floors.
Green couches.
Blue chairs.
Big screen TVs.
Smelly stares.
Gator gear is
Gator-iffic.
Hoorah gators!
Gators... STICK IT!
from left to right.
Lined up straight,
into the night.
Light bright,
bright light.
In a line,
lights white.
One door.
Two doors.
All corners.
Three floors.
Green couches.
Blue chairs.
Big screen TVs.
Smelly stares.
Gator gear is
Gator-iffic.
Hoorah gators!
Gators... STICK IT!
24 July 2000
I was insane last night.
I laid in bed and grieved
like dry heaves for your
presence. I'm alone again
and afraid. But I've hurt
you once, and won't do it
again. So I lie there
and grasped my sides,
and clenched my teeth.
No tears will fall from
this face. I'll stay
strong even if I'm not.
The mileage won't
give away my secrets.
You'l remain clueless
as to what I've done
to myself. Silence
now, as I drift back
into my status.
I laid in bed and grieved
like dry heaves for your
presence. I'm alone again
and afraid. But I've hurt
you once, and won't do it
again. So I lie there
and grasped my sides,
and clenched my teeth.
No tears will fall from
this face. I'll stay
strong even if I'm not.
The mileage won't
give away my secrets.
You'l remain clueless
as to what I've done
to myself. Silence
now, as I drift back
into my status.
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